why do i come online for?
it's not like i talk to ppl often.
actually i rarely double-click on someone's name and type a msg.
except for the following instances:
>> hey happy birthday
>> u want to go bowling?
>> get on skype.
and when ppl actually msg me, most of the time im not rly as enthu as them.
i would love to give more than just one word or one sentence replies.
>> haha
>> lol
>> ok
>> bye
i apologize.
there're a couple of reasons for this behavior.
1. im watching a video, 2. im playing my xbox, 3. im blogging, 4. im just not in the mood.
i dunno, maybe it's coz 5 days away from the real world every week makes it hard for me to connect to everyone else.
i really miss my friends when in camp ( i've got photos in my locker ) but somehow when im finally let out i have no idea what to say.
even at gatherings im just walking along or sitting there, listening to others speak.
and opening my mouth when i have something sarcastic to talk back.
this isn't me, iirc.
i remember i got sent out of class at least once a day for talking in class. tt was in pri sch.
ok, so what the hell made me dumb now?
in both senses.
i have no idea.
maybe im feeling insecure. maybe im feeling too self-conscious.
that initiating a convo poses a nuisance to others.
esp when they're mugging.
and in the end when ppl reply after a long while i oso can't be bothered anymore.
but again, i rly have no idea what to talk abt.
sch and army are like broccoli and mustard, we hate them and they can never mix.
actually i like broccoli.
so right now, with another hour or so before i go back to camp, im just stoning in front of the comp, with a convo window in the taskbar which i havent touched in the last 40min, and hoping someone else would entertain me too.
im hopeless.
cherry garcia..
8:14 PM
